Days since my last post: 8

If there was something I could never get over, it was death. It was the thought of a passing and a live well lived, or not. From the beginning of time when I started Cantuslupus till today, I have never stopped sharing my thoughts on how unjust and unfair death felt, especially when they are dear to me. But somehow it sparked...what if it were better for them? That they were free from suffering and pain, and that freedom was all they have now.

And so in August, I said goodbye to 3 people who were in some ways dear to me. 3 people...in a matter of 2 weeks. It felt like heaven was gaining amazing people, one by one. It was difficult for me, because I cried dry tears but perhaps harder for the ones who were even closer. The aching was real and the memories of each were vivid, almost like it only happened yesterday when we shared a smile together.

But maybe, this should be my path to closure. To realizing that a goodbye really isn't forever.

And goodbye, Sue. My lecturer. My advisor. My friend. Our days were short, our memories were not of abundance. But I remember most of how you took me in your arms as I cried over the passing of my grandfather 4 years ago. I remember when you held my hands and told me to believe in myself and my (then) significant other. That life was still a long way ahead for me. That nothing today was certain. And that someday, I will succeed as long as I put my heart into it. I will miss your sarcasm, I will miss your smiles and your voice but most of all, I will miss the days I could scream your name and hug you tight.

Because life, is all about closure. And this is mine, to the ones who matter.