It actually feels a little surreal to have to spend my everyday at home now then get out for really long hours in a day and be trapped back at home. That's right, I'm living the typical post-graduate lifestyle what with the waking at 1 p.m. and stuff. Results were also released last Friday and it's simply safe to say that I will not have to re-take or re-sit any papers or subjects at all. Bottom line, I will be graduating and I most probably will be attending the convocation next year. After all, I did get a screwed up high school graduation because of a teacher who was incompetent in handling it.

So today's rant is truly in all it's natural forms...a rant. But it isn't a rant of anything or anyone else. It's simply a rant of myself. In fact, I think it's terribly rampant and I really should have a good control over it before I get into trouble for it. The problem? My attitude. And anger management. And maybe a little of both that really connects to each other. Perhaps I've always realized this...or not but either way I felt like I owed myself an explanation.

The fact is, I get fairly agitated over the tiniest of things. Late dinner, people who can't hear me over the phone or when they don't explain stuff clearly...it drives me nuts. A tiny part of me puts myself in place and goes to say I'm a little on the OCD side (I demand that all volumes are of even numbers, never odd. If it's odd, it better be a multiplication of 5!) but another part tells me that it really is a problem that needs addressing. Like proper addressing with an exact fix for it. And then I realize...I don't have a fix for it.

I used to shout at the Maxis operator when they throttled my internet even when I haven't hit 50% of my quota. I got agitated with the registrar of my college because they told me there was a good chance I wouldn't get to study what I actually WANT to study in my final semester. I scolded numerous service staffs because they were slow and never got me my food. Wait hang on, I did the right thing there, didn't I? I was pretty fierce over the phone at the taxi driver who brought my uncle home from KLIA because he apparently had no idea how to come to my house yet he picked up my uncle last night.

In fact, it was this poor taxi driver who made me realize that it was time I killed off this terrible anger habit. He came into the house and told my mother, "Saya orang baik, ma'am. Awak banyak garang dekat telepon." (I'm a nice person, ma'am. You were really fierce on the phone.) Granted, I didn't hear this because I was taking a shower when he reached my house and my mother repeated it to me. I'm really sorry, taxi driver. I was pretty worried you were going to kidnap my uncle and kill him when you said you didn't know how to come to my house and yet you picked up my uncle. My bad.

Long story short, I've pledged last night to bring some things to an end. This attitude / anger problem. It just really has to go and I've got to learn to control it. So here's a promise to stop being such a b*tchy person with a terrible temper and an impatient manner. If I'm raising my voice the next time, it better be for something else than some fool cutting in front of my car or some waitress not bringing me my water. And speaking of anger managements, I found this video on YouTube that I found hilarious. I should learn to control my temper this way.